A Widow's Guide to Surviving Valentine’s
Here at Chapter 2, we know and understand how challenging dates like Valentine’s can be… Whether it is the first Valentine’s Day after death of your partner, or decades have passed, we wanted to share with you a few thoughts, tips, and hints to help you cope with what can be a very painful milestone and a reminder of all that we have lost. We hope you find this useful.
1. Remember, love never dies
You may have lost your soulmate but your love for them will never die. Grief is simply love with no place to go. Don’t be afraid to celebrate and acknowledge the love you had and take this time to reflect and remember your special bond.
2. Make plans
It’s always good to keep busy and distracted on key dates. Obviously we’d suggest avoiding restaurants filled with happy couples, so perhaps schedule a fun activity with friends or family, whether it is crazy golf, ten-pin bowling or even axe throwing – whatever takes your fancy, take this time to make new memories and create new rituals.
3. Celebrate ‘Galentine’s’
Valentine’s for friends. Get together with a group of widows or widowers and celebrate friendship and your support circle.
4. Avoid romantic entertainment
Try and avoid romantic movies or endless love songs on the radio. Music and films can be incredibly emotive and at times upsetting.
5. Spread kindness
Buy cards for friends and family to tell them how much their love and support has helped over the past year.
6. Treat yourself
Treat yourself to flowers to cheer up your home, or indulge in that box of chocolates for an extra boost of endorphins.
7. Spend the day doing exactly what works for you
You can spend the whole day in bed crying if that’s what you want, or take yourself for lunch, it’s perfectly okay to be angry and upset with the world. Whatever gets you through the day is absolutely fine.
8. Practice self love
Buy a nice bottle of wine, have an indulgent bubble bath, go shopping and treat yourself, read a book, go for a bicycle ride, book a massage, whatever works for you. Take some time for yourself.
9. Watch or listen to some inspirational TEDx talks
Such as:
or
10. Reach out for support
Finally reach out to the widow community through Chapter 2 or through charities such as WAY. You are not alone, we are all here to support each other.
Have the best day you can, if you have any suggestions or tips to add to this list, I’d love to hear them. Email me at nicky@chapter2dating.co.uk
Sending love to our whole Chapter 2 Community.
Nicky Wake, Founder
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